We had the time of our life and every time the girls and I said, "Daddy can I have this?" He said
You see, we've been in a long term "no" from Matt because we've been scrounging money for my costly medical bills that just seem to be coming harder and stronger as time goes on. Reese's treatment in the mix and now Lilli's just added more "no's" to the pink tutus and pointless keychains for their backpacks. But this weekend, the no's somehow left themselves back in Northern Virginia.
Reese stood there in her pink glittery tutu dress, and her matching pink satin flowery shoes with the saddest face you've ever seen. I just knew the Lord would fix this. Daddy had already searched the hotel room high and low; it had to be gone. We must have left it. You see, she had a matching flowery headband with a purple butterfly that hovered the pink flowers. It completed her princess of all princesses ensemble. We were heading out of the room to go to brunch with Uncle Zach and everyone else was ready. I just couldn't let us leave with Reese and her troubled heart. I knew she'd be thinking of misplacing this headband that she was allowed to buy. It was the headband that daddy said "yes". It was the one that she would feel may leave him disappointed (this would not be the case), but she felt it.
I got down on her level. I looked into her puppy dog eyes with ever so slight tears and said, "Let's pray."
"Jesus you know all things. You've created all things and you know where we've misplaced this beautiful headband of Reese's. We are asking you to help us find it. We love you and pray this only according to your will. We love you and worship you alone. In Jesus Holy Name. Amen."
We didn't find it, but Reese's countenance changed and we were able to substitute it with another pretty hot pink flowery clip. The frown had turned back around, so we left without another thought of that headband.
We all had gone down to the beach and Reese had peed in her pretty dress, so her and I went back up to the room to change and grab a diaper. You see, Reese is still healing from the Lyme and so we have accidents often if she doesn't go like 10 times a day. I said, "Well we're on vacation, let's just get a diaper." Reese lit up, 'another yes!'
We entered the hotel room and as I was grabbing clothes and a diaper, I turned to Reese's excitement, "Mommy I found it!!!"
WHAT?! I was in disbelief. We searched high and low! "Reese where did you find it?"
It was right there in the center of the floor. Only Jesus could have put it there!! Jesus said
I have tears in my eyes, and it seems so silly. It was just a headband. But it was a testimony to my little girl who's lived her life in pain that Jesus loves her. It was a reminder to me that Jesus sees me; He remembers me and my family. As we battle daily the troubles of this life, Jesus holds our hand through the storm and He even cares about our silly flowery headbands. I mean, He knows the exact number of hair we have on our head.
Reader: I know what you're thinking. What about the
Why does He say no to relieve the pain? Why does He say no when your baby had to die? Why does He say no to all of the children who are starving all over the world?
When I excitedly told Rachael (Zach's girlfriend) our exciting story about what Jesus did, she was very happy for Reese. But her heart was heavy. It was heavy because she just left her job where a little baby didn't grow any lungs and he was headed towards Jesus. Why would Jesus give Reese her headband but not this little boy his lungs? The parents were in severe grief.
I wish I could answer this better, But what I do know is that this little boy skips this troubled world of sin and disease and goes straight to a perfect, whole world of perfect love with Christ. I understand this doesn't make it easier on the parents, nor did it make it easier on Rachael who was only the technician.
Jesus said "yes" when we asked Him to heal me from from my food allergies. But He said "no" to healing me instantly from lyme. His response, "Sarah my grace is sufficient for you in your weakness." In our weaknesses is where God is glorified. In our weaknesses we are able to comfort others who go through the same, hard grievances. God has already paid the price for your sins, and it is our mission to share this good news with others, so they too can share in Christ's inheritance of perfection in heaven. So don't be discouraged in the "no". There is much purpose in the "no". God will use the "no"; God will use the "yes".
Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
We definitely don't know everything, actually we know very little. But what we do know is what God wants us to know in His Word. If you want to know why God said "no" right now, then seek your answer from Him in His Word.
Trust Him. He's got the whole world in His Sovereign hands.
In this world you WILL have trouble. But Jesus has already overcome the world.
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!