the blessing beyond the pain.
The amount of pain i'm in today, reminds me of this, the pain of life. The pain that my daughters feel is sad. Do you have to massage your children's heads, shoulders, neck or feet? Well that's my girls, and half the time they don't even tell me they are hurting. The emotional pain from the Lyme is so hard to watch in Reese. Her mood can go down as quick as the drop of a hat. This is a delicate situation that I've learned prayer is best. However, most times I resort to my anger and frustrated response. She's six, but sometimes acts two. I know she can't help it all the time, and I also know that sometimes it is a part of being a six year old girl with emotions. Telling the difference is the hard part. I think they get it. "Life is hard." I'm grateful that our doctor has given us medicine for her brain, and I see a big difference. This all has kept us inside for the summer. The girls are really getting close and relying on each other. This is a
season of quietness.
When the Lord takes something away, it typically feels like He rips it away. This is where the pain sets in. This past week, as I've opened my Facebook page, tears begin to swell as I stare at my volleyball picture. It was four days before I had my pacemaker placed in my heart. It was one of the greatest gifts my husband could have surprised me with, one last game. I was so weak I couldn't hit the ball over on the serve, but it didn't matter. It was a moment I shared with my wonderful volleyball team, Matt and the girls.
It became permanent. The impossibility to play hard volleyball again. Sure I can play around, but not like I did.
I have felt like a punching bag for the last 6 and half years. Last night I couldn't sleep because the pain wouldn't let me. Will it end? Will the mountain top come?
Three cups of coffee a day to fight the fatigue.
We question His will, the road we thought we were destined to be on.
Sharing our pain makes us vulnerable. But sharing our pain becomes our testimony. It's our testimony to others, so that we can help them endure as we have endured. Open your wounds and allow God to heal you. Open your wounds and let others see. We all walk around with a face that makes us look like we have it all together. I imagine that's not the case as the devil is running ramped trying to pull you down. 1 Peter 5:8 says, be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
A season of healing.
God always covers that pain with His love and comfort, if we trust in Him. Trust is the key. Fearing the Lord is key. God wants you to call on His name through Jesus Christ. He will continue to take away until we fear Him. He loves us so much as He's a jealous God for our time, devotion and love. We typically think of jealousy as a bad thing. Well not from God, as He loves us so much. He doesn't "need" you, but He "wants" you. The Hebrew word for "jealous" is quanno' and only of God. Let's recall the ten commandments when God tells us not to "covet", be "jealous" of our neighbor etc. (Exodus 20). The Hebrew word used is a completely different word, which is chamad. Run home to your Father, and stop trying to do it on your own.
It's a season of salvation.
I love the way Solomon bears the emotional effects of change through his Holy Spirit inspired writings in Ecclesiastes. Solomon had seen the ups and downs of change, and he was the richest man who had ever lived. You would have thought he was the happiest man who ever lived. In the beginning, he feared God and God gave him wisdom. The Lord did just that. Solomon lived a life fearing God, then a life full of sin and indulging. And in the end he was left empty. In the end, it came down to God...
Solomon concludes in Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Seasons for everything:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
Life is burdensome, but eternity is forever. Choose Jesus, take life on earth one day at a time, always be a learner from your Teacher, and simply love. Love people, not things. Live with thanksgiving, as God blesses you if you just look beyond the cloud. Happiness fades, but the joy of the Lord is forever.