My joy from the Lord is the one surefire thing I have always counted on. Through all of our storms, the enemy has never been able to take it from me, until recent. I truly didn’t think it was possible, but all it took was believing one little lie. However, it didn’t start out as a lie…
Over the course of laying boundaries due to my limitations from illness, I have had to say a lot of ‘no’s’. I have not only had to tell others no but also bind myself from many things. Gradually in the laying down of healthy boundaries, I started to believe that I could hardly do anything. Before I knew it, I was saying “I can’t” to most everything.
It was about this time when I found a new doctor that led me further down a dark path. As she listened to me complain about my physical limitations, she began to diagnose and treat. Before I knew it, I was treating all sorts of ailments she had “discovered”. I added more and more pills/supplements. My body had become so confused. I put on a lot of fluid weight as my kidneys began to fail me. I thought the bacteria was causing renal failure, but that’s what I was led to believe.
Then, Matt had a dream. He dreamt that I died from kidney failure. It was so vivid and emotional for Matt; we both agreed it was from the Lord. This is when my search for truth began. Over the next few months, I discovered that the medicine was damaging my body. Before Christmas break I started tapering many of my pills and supplements. I needed to start again from scratch and allow my body to work on its own again.
“In Jesus Name I can do this. In Jesus Name I can do this.”
These words have been my rock through the toughest years of my life. I would say them out loud over and over, pushing my way through any obstacle despite my increasing limitations. Gradually over the last year, these words started to fade unnoticeably. It wasn’t until my reflection that I discovered what the lie (I chose to believe) had done to me. I realize that I have replaced this confidence God had given me with a desperate cry. Instead of believing and declaring what God had promised through the Holy Spirit, I began to beg and plead with Him, as if He was withholding from me.
Instead of begging God to give me what He already promised, I am claiming His promises once again over our lives.
I am determined to LIVE again!
I am standing on Jesus’ Name that “I CAN” and I will again REJOICE!
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – Jesus. (John 10:10)
What are you believing for? If you receive it, will you walk in it? The devil can't steal your joy unless you give it to him.