The day had come, and would you believe that this sweet baby was perfect? He was not just healthy; he was perfect. He's the sweetest, most loving and caring little guy. I've known from prayer to now that he has an extraordinary purpose on his life. I pray over him every time I see him or hold him. The love that I have for this boy is beyond what you can even imagine, as I love him as I do my very own girls.
Over the last year, there has been a battle for this family. Lindsay has been very ill and needed help with Jack over the last month. Matt and I took him into our home. It was certainly a change of pace for us, and I had to be on my toes with my own shortcomings with Lyme. We had gates, toys, food on the floor (glad we have a little dog Dixie), and all that comes with a little one. A. Lot.
Oh but the moments. Everything about my miracle baby melted my heart. He learned so much in a short month. He and I will always have a special bond.
Oftentimes, we think that God has this extraordinary plan for our life, and we wait as it passes us by. Kris Vallotton reminded me of our current modern day worship singing for the heavens to rend open, or we are on the verge of this enormous breakthrough. Yes this is true that God does pour out his glory, mercy, healing and love over us, and breakthrough is always coming. However, we miss it when we don't open our eyes seeing him in the details of our daily monotonous lives.
The Lord had me up all night over our Thanksgiving break, praying over Lindsay as she was in the ER once more for her ulcers. Quickly as the night began, God told me to help her heal by taking Jack until Christmas. This was an unlikely possibility that all would be on board. Matt, as the leader and protector of our family, was concerned over my own health while taking care of a baby. I did not take Jack that next day or the following week. It wasn't until the very next weekend that all hearts had softened and were on board. This was my calling right now. God had prepared the way for me to give my undivided attention to my family and to Jack. We knew that it wouldn't be perfect, that there would be frustrations, battles and even jealousy. We worked through each one as it would present itself. I had to adjust to the fact that I still needed to care for Lilli and Reese. You would think this would be obvious, but it was a sudden, demanding, extravagant change in our home.
At the end of our care for Jack, Lindsay was healing in leaps and bounds. As I look back over the course of the month, it wasn't this explosive ministry where 10 kids were saved or lives were changed through a great Word. My days consisted of multiple diaper changes, saying the same thing over and over to get him to say something, sitting on the floor playing legos, watching baby cartoons as he sat in my lap or attempting to read to him. This was my calling from God right now.
Jack is one child. Jack matters to God. You matter to God.
It isn't always in the extravagant that God is calling us to serve Him. I've learned that over the last month.
The last lines of this song by Hillsong spoke to me straight from the heart of Christ. It was the sum of what the Lord had called me to do. It was my calling, my obedience to the Lord, surrendering myself for one, as Christ did for me.
He doesn't leave one of His behind.
"I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender so will I
I can see Your heart
Eight billion different ways
Every precious one
A child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them so will I
Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire
You’re the One who never leaves the one behind"