- I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”
Simple daily tasks have become very difficult this week as I prepare for my doctor's appointment Wednesday. I have had to stop all medications in hopes of getting an accurate diagnosis at the rheumatologist. The fatigue, weakness and pain are top notch this week, and I need the Lord to sustain me. This song brought me to my knees in tears, knowing that my Savior has been through worse than this, and I can lean on Him for hope and peace through this suffering.
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
As I listen to the words, I think about Jesus before the cross when He asked the disciples to "watch and pray". He says, "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Boy was I feeling the weakness of flesh. As I think about the last couple of weeks, I have been so strong, putting my full trust in the Lord's will for my life, knowing that this suffering will bring Him glory. Now here I am feeling the weight of the weakness of flesh, and I hear my Savior say, "Sarah, find in Me thine all in all." He paid it all and has washed me white as snow.
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I'll lay my trophies down,
All down at Jesus' feet
I wrote on my Facebook page shortly after this moment:
"You know what's frustrating? When you have all these dreams and ambitions, but your body fights against them. Thinking about what heaven will be like with no sickness or disease. I can't
wait for that!
Dreams and ambitions, I sit and think about what that is. In the moment, I'm thinking art, volleyball, and all the things I love to do... in this world. I've been crying for 2 weeks off and on, because I'm quitting volleyball due to my sickness. Monday night is my last game. I love volleyball and it's so hard to give up. But if you think hard on it, what does all of this mean anyway? What do we gain in this world in our dreams and achievements?
This is what Jesus says:
"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it. "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his
soul? "For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
I lay it all at Jesus' feet, all my dreams and ambitions, achievements and accomplishments. Not my will Father, but yours be done in my life.