I just keep thinking about those words.
Last night I accompanied my friends to a Celebrate Recovery group at a church. The worship band played this song, and I've heard it nearly 50 times or more. I absolutely love this song and could never get tired of it.
The lyrics say "Where My Heart Becomes Free", but the Lord spoke these words to me:
Where My Heartbeat Comes Free
Those words resonated with me as God poured out His love over me. The Holy Spirit counseled my heart.
"Sarah, your heartbeat comes from me."
You see, I've been dealing with heart issues for quite some time. This is the reason I went back on the picc line about 5 or 6 months ago. I've been keenly aware of the fact that my heart could stop, but it hasn't been a real fear until lately. And I know fear is not from the Lord.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
2 Timothy 1:7
I continue to walk forward, one step at a time. Randomly I feel for my heartbeat and sometimes it's perfectly normal. But, other times it's off rhythm or it stops a few seconds and starts again. As the Lord makes my spirit stronger and stronger in Him, my flesh grows weary and weak. Bearing my cross isn't easy.
In Gethsemane, Jesus (God) knew that Judas, the chief priests and elders of the people were coming for him. They would bring him in as a prisoner to crucify Him, despite His innocence (sinlessness). That night before they arrived for Jesus, He asked His disciples to "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” - Matthew 26:41
I tell myself as I hear those words, "Don't look at the storm Sarah. Stop listening to the lies of the evil one, the devil. Keep your focus on Jesus, the writer and perfector of your faith."
"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” - Matthew 26:41
**the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak**
If God is the one who freely gives me each heartbeat, shouldn't I rely on Him to give me the next? Isn't it the "Lord of my heart's" decision when it stops and He calls me home? I've given my life over to Christ, so I should trust Him with every heart beat and every morning that I wake for another gift of life here on earth.
Focus on the Lord of your heart, not your heart.
Terry Calhoun is a good friend of mine from Bible college when I was a brand new Christian. He was a great mentor and I credit a lot of my growth in Christ to him. He wrote to me the other day with some encouraging words that have just blown me away, and forever changed me. Would you believe that it has been right in front of me for all of these years? It has been right smack dab in the middle of the Lord's prayer.
Tears pour out each time I have read this. I designed a wall decal to remind me every day to shout it from the roof tops!
"Declare it to be on earth as it is in heaven!!"
There's nothing worth more that will ever come close
No thing can compare, You're our living hope
Your presence, Lord
I've tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart(beat comes) free and my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord
Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord
I've tasted and seen, of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart(beat comes) free, and my shame is undone
By Your presence, Lord
Let us become more aware of Your presence
Let us experience the glory of Your goodness